Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
