The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
