i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize