Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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