If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
