Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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