Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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