i was rollin on her like bob the builder
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
