you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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