Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
