Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
