Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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