David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
