the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
