A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize