I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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