she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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