I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
