I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My balls are so social today.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
