Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
