Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
