Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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