I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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