you turned your livingroom into a bong?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize