Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
