i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
