just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
No more Irish car bombs ever.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize