I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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