So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
