so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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