I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
