I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
