dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
