So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize