This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
