our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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