it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
