This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
