so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
