gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
