Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
