Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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