My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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