we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
