hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
