He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
