I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
