I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
