Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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