I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
