Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
