Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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