Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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