i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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