i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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