____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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