day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize