Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
