Jerry, you need to find god
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
