How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
