do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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