Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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