There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
